Life's Lesson; Recognizing Blackwater Fever

BLACKWATER FEVER; A common disease among Private Military Contractors working in Iraq, Afghanistan and various other 3rd world hellholes. Frequently attacks young men with only 1 war or enlistment under their belt, State Dept agents, Former LEOs, anyone associated with an Ambassadors detail and occasional posers.

Blackwater Fever has many symptoms; if you have the following you may be infected:

-Large amount of primping, i.e. mousse in your hair despite the fact you live in a war zone.
-Your forearms break out in tattoos, often tribal or USMC related
-All your shirts are skintight "Under Armor" T-shirts
-Have used, currently using or consider using steroids www.decadurabolin.com
-Refer to yourself as a "Shooter" or "Operator" for Blackwater
-Look down upon all other PSD teams that are NOT on the Ambassadors Detail, to include other Blackwater employees.
-Grow a beard to blend in with the locals, even though you are a 6ft tall blonde with a "Death before Dishonor" tattoo.
-Think the Palace pool is a good place to pickup chicks
-Are arrogant and condescending to people with more experience, training and who make more money than you.
-Forget that doing a mission that has been performed in the past by Tier 1 assets does not make you a Tier 1 asset.
-Truly believe you look good in a Speedo
-Despite the fact there are laundry facilities available you insist on wearing a dirty brown T-shirt with your blood type in black magic marker to work.
-You wear a shemagh as an ascot to fit in with the locals
-Because you are a "High Speed-Low Drag" PSD guy you think long hair and an unkempt beard looks professional.
-You are familiar with doing "high threat PSD with CAT team and Air assets".
-Look puzzled when someone refers to the pool as a "Sausage Fest"
-You carry a drop-leg holster, wear a Federal Agent Badge, flash bangs, 5 or more pistol mags, asp, handcuffs, surefire light, leatherman, on your belt and a Gerber mark II strapped to the outside of your boot, in the embassy complex.
-Thursday night is your favorite night of the week.
-You have excellent kit.
-When your advance goes out to the Red Zone, Army MPs secure your perimeter.
-Believe by running Iraqis off the road you are winning their "hearts & minds".
-Despite earning a six figure income you wear a filthy, ragged ball cap that has not ever been washed
-Your 9 man PSD team consists of 34 men, 6 armored SUVs, 2 Army Stryker vehicles, an MP company, 2 "little birds" and 2
AH-64 gunships. With an AC-130 on call!
-Your entire wardrobe can be purchased at Brigade Quartermasters.www.actiongear.com
-You have a Blackhawk credit card.
-You refer to Myock as "The Farm"
-You know what color the boathouse at Hereford is.
-The girls talk to you because you "make the big bucks"
-You have a Bear paw tattoo
-The most dangerous thing you have ever done is: PSD!
-You blouse you Royal Robins 5.11 pants into your boots
-Often email pictures of yourself in body armor, weapons and kit to all your friends, family and anybody that you have their email address.
-Believe people really give a shit about seeing multiple pictures of you in your body armor, weapons and kit.
-If you have ever gotten drunk and pointed loaded weapon at your best friend and thought it" was FUN!"
-You demonstrated your "quick draw" technique to your girlfriend.
-You have been seen wearing a black boonie hat, black shirt, black pants, black boots, black body armor, black ammo pouches and a MP-5, in a desert environment when its 110 degrees
-Despite having tons of assets-you have not left the Green Zone since July.
-As it has gotten colder instead of wearing a long sleeve shirt, you wear long underwear with a short sleeve golf shirt. But the golf shirt has your company logo on it.
-You spray paint your M-4 into a desert camo pattern, though you only operate in a urban envoirment
-A MP-5 is your primary weapon
-All your T-shirts have a police, military, weapon, or SWAT school logo on them
-Chasing Palace girls is more important than your job performance
-A chap from CRG has had to give you a lesson in manners, after you pushed him out of your principles way. Even though the lad had already stepped aside.